It’s usually not something that people tend to ask me during a consultation… but it’s often a question that comes up around a dinner table, once the wine has kicked in nicely and the conversation is free-flowing: “What foods help to increase sex drive?” – cue snigger, snigger. The answer is complicated, a bit like sex itself, because finding your “mojo” involves so much more than food.
Food to complement your sex drive – anything goes!
Let’s start with the original question. What should we be eating to ensure that we are “ready to roll”?! To be honest, anything goes. A healthy and balanced diet is going to give you the energy and nutrients you need for a bit of (in the words of my father) ‘rumpy pumpy’. Everyone raves about zinc, a mineral which is essential for the production of both male and female sex hormones and found at high levels in meat, whole grains, beans, nuts, seeds and shell fish (i.e., all the usual culprits).
Vitamin E, which is found is both animal and vegetable fats, has also been flagged as helping to optimize blood flow to the (cough) nether regions.
So is there anything which should be avoided? It really depends on you. Some people struggle with certain carbohydrates which can cause the sensation of bloating (and you feeling a bit like a snake that’s just swallowed a mouse, as opposed to a lean, mean, slinky sex goddess). So, you may want to avoid lashings of pasta and bread. Alcohol in moderate quantities can help you to relax and boost your “mojo,” but you don’t want to drink so much that you are comatose!
Vive le sans vent to stay sexy
Nothing, really nothing, seems quite as mortifying as having a touch of the “windy weather” while in full “mojo” flow. As an FYI, usually it’s a harmless puff of carbon dioxide, whereas what is terrifying is a full-on “hydrogen sulphide” bomb. Flatulence is caused by sulphur compounds, such as those found in the cabbage family as well as beans and lentils. If you are prone to this, avoid eating these foods during your pre-“mojo” meal. Yes, this is indeed the only time that I will tell you to avoid eating these healthy foods!
Nothing, really nothing, seems quite as mortifying as having a touch of the “windy weather” while in full”mojo” flow.
And, if this does happen, do not let it worry you. I remember once upon a time a wonderful windy night, where both of us ended up in hysterics because I kept on farting. Every time I moved, I farted, every time I apologised I farted and both of us ended up crying with laughter…
Top Mojo Moves
Think drippy, lippy, juicy and luscious. If you google “sexy” foods, the list is usually oysters for the zinc, strawberries, chocolate, banana and whipped cream. Yup, you get it! The banana I’m assuming is more linked to its shape than anything else. It’s all to do with how you eat it, using your fingers/toes/whatever and feeding each other, looking each other deep in the eyes and licking your lips…
Don’t do what I did one time, which was to completely kill the moment because I was running around shrieking about getting a blob of mayonnaise on my silk shirt. So as a further note, possibly wear clothes where it does not matter what gets spilled on them (!) And, be very, very, wary, of fresh chili. Feeling the ‘burn’ should only ever apply to exercise.
My top mojo meal? Oysters or a plate of shell fish, lean steak or beef carpaccio with salad, strawberries with a dark chocolate dip. All systems go!
Savor the moment!
We all have our good/really good/best ever sex moments, not necessarily focused around choosing the right menu or even the right partner, but around “mindfulness”— if I can use that term — in this instance, meaning “so in the moment that you are literally melting”.
My moment? A shaving brush, a warm bathroom and the Pet Shop Boys playing “Love comes quickly”. I actually came like a comet.
Glorious. And this, my friends, is after two bowls of duck cassoulet, a large slice of tarte tatin and lashing of red wine (definitely a case of “Do as I say and not as I do!”)
There was just something about this particular moment that, even now when I remember it, wherever I am and whatever I am doing, causes the hairs on the back of my neck to rise in a silent salute. The memory of long and loving fingers beginning to play a concerto down the back of my spine. Moments of utter and beautiful perfection. Bliss…
Nourish your relationship
All the bananas, whipped cream, oysters and chocolate fondue in the world are not going to work if you are tense, stressed and angry with each other. I’m a nutritionist and certainly not a marriage counsellor, but I think the following principles and sayings are essential for nourishing a strong relationship:
- Honesty, kindness and communication.
- Being quick to forgive and even quicker not to take offence.
- That “You can’t always get what you think you want, but you usually find you get exactly what you need, if you take your blinkers off.”
- White knights/knightesses are not going to come riding over the horizon on a white horse to save you in the 21st century (sorry!) so you simply have to learn to protect yourself (and others).
- Relationships, like photos, can be photoshopped and are often unrealistically portrayed.
- Perfection is boring and very overrated.
- Lumps and bumps make you gorgeous, sexy and interesting.
- Love truly does make the world go around.
And one final sound bite: “Treat your partner like you’d treat your best friend – don’t ever let them feel like an irritation, inconvenience or a complete idiot”.
I’m sure I am not the only one who’s been present at those cringe-worthy moments when a couple start to lay into each other. There are no winners in this situation, just an uncomfortable taste of a sad and desperate loss.
Our relationships, exactly like plants, need to be fed, watered and fertilized. (Yes, definitely time for me to bring this article to an end.)
Vive le mojo!